and the soul felt its worth

honest questions, honest answers

2007-03-18T23:41:00.000-07:00

a "meme" i got from Kay. (can someone please tell me what a "meme" is exactly?)

1. My ex is still...
the same old chap i loved for three years. which is good. it'd be a bummer if he morphs into a toad.

2. I am listening to...
here, there, and everywhere by the beatles

3. Maybe I should...
sleep a bit before i go to my doctor's appointment this afternoon.

4. I love...
my family, mark, and worry free wednesdays

5. My bestfriend(s)...
is mark

6. I dont understand...
richard gomez

7. I lost my respect for....
people who will vote for richard gomez

9. The meaning of my screen name is...
nothing really profound. it's a nickname for me that my tita mimi uses.

10. Love is...
something i choose not to understand, else it loses its real meaning.

11. Somewhere, someone is...
taking a dump, and loving it

12. I will always...
be a sucker for fireworks in a clear, amusement park night sky, while being enveloped in someone's arms.

13. Forever seems...
can i rephrase? forever starts today.

14. I never ever want to lose...
my glasses

15. My mobile phone is...
old and ratty, but still quite loveable

16. When I wake up in the morning...
the rest of the world's probably already running way ahead of me

17. I get annoyed at...
pretty much anyone who tries way.too.hard.

18. Parties are...
more often than not, a waste of time. but it depends what kind of party we're talking about.

19. My pet(s)..
are insane!

20. Kisses are.....
something i can't live without. :*

21. Today ...
is my favorite saint, st. joseph's day

22. I really want...
to go to a weird location in the states (like new mexico for instance. hehe) and finish my manuscript

Then again maybe...

2007-02-01T06:48:00.000-08:00

Last Wednesday, the (in)famous Worry Free Wednesday (WFW) tropa, that's us by the way, well we were supposed to watch Noel as usual only to find out that he canceled his flight home from the States or something. Pissed and in dire need of cold beer and the good-for-now kinda music, we went to this place in Marikina, a bar of sorts, that, if I remember correctly, didn't even have a name. Of course, Fr. Manoling Francisco may correct me if I'm wrong - according to Chek, he's a nameless-Marikina-bar regular. So anyway, we decided to have our WFW moment there.

After several good swigs, Gian "Driver Bitch" Cauton, who was right beside me, starts texting me... I saved the message of course. I was drunk, but I was sane enough to save a good SMS. It says...

Funny how one can be so sure and take the leap... lay all the cards and shit, then another is just being plain polite and all. Funny how it crushes us... and how powerless it leaves us... and how we just pray that the hurt and the yearning will leave us... but it all just lingers... and hangs on our heads... we wait, we pray... but still live life through leaps and bounds.

That's "Driver Bitch"'s super talent -- just give him some beer and he can read through your mind and heart, and he'll even document it for you. I wanted to slap him for being so damn precise.

Then again... he says at 2:14am...

Do or do not... there is no try... there is no try. No try to move on. No try to be happy. No try to be good. Only will. Will move on. Will be happy. Will be good.

Thanks to Jedi Master Yoda, he's redeemed Driver Bitch from being Rub-It-In Bitch. Hehe. Don't get me wrong though, I love Gian for this insane quirk of his. Puts me back to my senses every time.

Here's to more WFW moments.

Good Eats, Bad Eats

2007-01-19T19:30:00.000-08:00

Friday is usually Shang day for us in the office. but Vicky and the rest of my team didn't feel like crossing the overpass from EDSA Central to the Plaza. They went ahead and had lunch at Bacolod Chicken just a few steps away from the office. Mark, Alfie, and I went to check out Green Tomato in Shang.

Mark had the common lasagna, Alfie ordered a dulong pasta which is supposed to consist of Pinoy fish bits, and I ordered puttanesca because I wanted something spicy. I was also craving for anchovies.

The food sucked.

My puttanesca had way too much anchovies. I mean sure, I had a craving but I'm not a freaking cat. Alfie kept sprinkling parmesan cheese every two bites. I think Mark made the best choice. I should've listened to him when he said that freaking Green Tomato restaurant wasn't worth the money. It wasn't worth my poor tastebuds either.

My consolation came later during the night when Mark and I celebrated our 4th month with dinner and a movie (Eragon, which sucked. but that deserves a whole nother blog entry, so stay tuned). We decided to try out that Cocorama place (which my dad warned me about) so I wasn't that excited, but what the hell, I was hungry. I had grilled pork chops, scrambled eggs with spinach, and crazy rice (basically rice fried with creamy butter, corn, peas, carrots, and bell peppers), and Mark had his usual medium rare porterhouse. It was GOOD. I finished everything. We had a Jackson 5 pancake dessert afterwards as well, which was also damn good. Move over, Heaven 'n' Eggs. You've got competition. Cocorama's food is great, their service is great, their ambiance is funky, and they have a disco ball.

I'll talk about Eragon in a while -- by greatest disappointment of the year. And the year just started, dammit. I'll have lunch first. Happy birthday, Ate!

Wishin' I knew Panggalatok

2007-01-12T18:53:00.000-08:00

What does Pangasinan have that Manila lacks?

A real sanctuary
Time doesn't seem to move, but it does
Igado and pinapaitan cooked in a vintage kaldero
Using a smooth stone instead of a bar of soap
Long but blissful car trips
Unpretentious conversation with just about anyone
Fresh, clean air
Mrs. Cake
Slacking off sans the guilt
Childhood memories
Other people's memories that seem to be your own too
Preserved legacies

This is where everything started. This was where my great grandparents down to my mother were born. These are my roots. This is home.

Sidenote: That's my lolo praying during our trip to Our Lady of Manaoag. Papa's a true blue Ilocano - walang tatalo sa kakuriputan niya. Pero hayop magbigay ng tip yan sa mga tiga Lingayen. It's heartwarming, actually, how he gave 50 bucks to a watch-your-car-boy and said, in Ilocano (oh yeah, the Panggalatok and Ilocano dialects are rather similar), "Yan, pang softdrinks mo!"

Panalo talaga sa Norte... Panalo.

Back to the real world

2007-01-06T22:05:00.000-08:00

Balik opisina ako bukas. Last night was my last big hurrah, it was alright. Wala pa rin tatalo sa nangyari nung Miyerkules. Then again, I'm still thankful, cos I got to spend the entire day with my better half.

Mark accompanied me on my last lab test (for now) at St. Luke's. i thought I was late for my scheduled ultrasound at 12:10. Yun pala, 12:20 yung schedule ko. Medyo mahaba yung pila, pero mabilis naman since there were 3 ultrasound machines and around 4 very efficient doctors. Sabi ko kay Mark, mag-antay ka nalang diyan sa "Father's Waiting Lounge". Hahaha!

We had to wait for the results so we had lunch at Saint's first. Had spaghetti bolognese (as usual... kahit sa Japanese restaurant spaghetti pa rin ino-order ko e!) which was way too sweet (Pinoy style) and Mark had soya rice (very tasty) and inihaw na liempo. We got the results after lunch, and everything seemed normal naman. still have to drop by to have it interpreted by my doctor though, para sure.

We just chilled at home until we had to get ready for Patricia's birthday party at sidebar in el pueblo. Dropped by Shangrila before heading to the venue to get Pat her gift. I got her a really naughty, hot pink thong from People are People. Pagdating ko, sabi ko, "happy birthday Paolo". Sinilip ni Paolo yung regalo, sabi niya, "Swak na swak yung kulay." Hahaha!

Tried the uber cheap 6-shot package of Vodka. They were pretty weak, actually. But i had to wash them down with around 8 bottles of San Mig. I was kinda disappointed at myself for being tipsy-- dammit, last hurrah ko nga, hindi man lang ako tinatamaan! Si Louie, sobrang lafftrip. Di niya nakayanan yung bloody mary. Talo pa siya ni Michelle. Actually, the boys in general (Except for Mark, Paolo, and my dad) all got drunk way too easily. They were all becoming so emo after only around several swigs. It was really funny.

Louie and michelle went ahead early, and Mark and I followed (naunang umuwi ang mga couples!). Ay wait, si JJ pala ang unang umalis. Siguro mga 10pm palang, "guys, i'll go ahead na". Hmmm I wonder why. Hehe. I was sleepy, and Mark needed to drive to Cavite the next morning so we hit the road at Cinderella time.

Some pictures from last night, from Michelle's camera. Thanks beautiful!

Walanghiya ka talaga louie (doing the sungay)

much better... pero senglot na yata si ynan dito, ganda ng kuha ng crowd ah!

si louie, talo pa ni michelle sa inuman

It was a fun night. Happy birthday, Patricia. 28 ka na daw? Upakan ang P.A.!

I'm gonna take a nap.... Cheers!

pasyente, panibagong itay, at puregold

2007-01-04T23:44:00.000-08:00

Dumaan ako kanina sa ospital, last check up ko. Absent ako for more than two weeks na. Tinakbo kasi ako sa ER kamakailan lang, hanggang ngayon di pa rin namin alam kung ano talaga nangyari sakin. But we're getting warm kahit papano. Dapat lang, kelangan ko na bumalik sa opisina. Baka sisantihin nako.

May pagkasosyal nga lang yung doktor na binisita ko kanina. Di man lang siya accredited ng health card ko, kaya parating full payment ako. Anlungkot parati ng bulsa ko pag pumupunta ako sa kanya. Pero di ko mabitawan. 6 years na niyakong ginagamot e.

Bukas, ultrasound nanaman. Magbabayad nanaman. Anyaman na talaga ni St. Luke dahil sakin.

Dati pako sakitin e. Mistulang bata pako, ganito nako.
May rason nga siguro kung bakit di ako pinayagan makipaglaro sa mga walanghiyang batang kalye sa labas ng gate namin. Pero ansaya makipag-agawan ng tsinelas e.

Proud na proud ako sa tatay ko. Buong buhay niya, smoker siya. Pero sa wakas, nakapag quit din siya. Nakakatuwa nga e, kasi tumataba na siya. Kain kasi ng kain ng Cornetto, yung mga ice cream drumstick. Pag nagyoyosi break mga kabarkada niya, dadaan muna yan ng 7-11 para bumili ng ice cream. Nakakataba ng puso pag ini-imagine ko yun.

Sinamahan ako ni itay at ng Ate ko sa St. Luke's. Pagtapos ng check up ko, dumaan kami sa bagong Puregold sa E. Rodriguez. Yung Puregold Qi Central. Nung una natatakot ako pumasok dun. Bakit naman kasi napag-isipang tawaging "Qi Central" yun? Na-imagine ko talaga, puro pasyenteng may TB yung pumipila sa cashier.

Pero astig, anlake ng Puregold Qi Central. Patok pa sa produkto. Ang mumura! Yung Spam na binibili namin sa Unimart, umaabot minsan ng dalawang daan. Yung sa Puregold Qi Central, 99 pesos lang! Dalawang lata nga binili namin e.

Ansaya pa nung music na pinapatugtog -- Angelina, Ispageti Pababa, and the like. Pinoy na Pinoy. I felt so at home. And so free. Di katulad sa Rustan's Supermarket, masyadong malamig. Yung aircon sa Puregold, tamang tama lang. Simpleng Pinoy lang naman ako e. Di ako sanay sa malamig.

Behold the Surreal at Conspiracy

2007-01-03T21:51:00.000-08:00

Had a rockin’ good time last night in Conspiracy with my Worry Free Wednesday folks Gian, Chek, and Kris, and two of their other college/law school friends PJ and Lex, who are still in the process of being initiated into WFW. I hope they pass, what with our very high standards. Anyway, that’s another story.

Kicked off the night with Grill Queen take out (care of Gian… kahit nagkulang ang barbecue), tinola (care of Chek), great sake and Red Label (again care of Chek) at Chek’s place (say Chek again and I’ll bite your head off). So that was pre-Noel, and we were already tipsy by 9PM. All I can say is, lolo drinks are traitors.

We entered Conspiracy surprised to see an ice blonde Belgian woman with an accordion jamming with Noel. All I could grasp from the song was “Bella Ciao! Bella Ciao! Bella Ciao! Ciao! Ciao!”, so I cursed Chek’s damn Red Label again. But then I realized, something special’s probably gonna happen tonight. That thought was confirmed when Cynthia Alexander hopped on stage, asking Noel about his Dame guitar. Her mere presence proved that this was gonna be one hell of a night.

Solve na solve na kami by Noel’s opening song—“41”. Things were going so well around 10+ bottles of hard cold beer later and until the latter part of the first set, when suddenly the rest of the god gang went inside—Joey Ayala grabbed Noel’s guitar and started belting out songs I really can’t remember anymore (curses, Red Label). I just remember PJ slurring, “Makibaka songs, pare. Makibaka.” Cynthia was just by her brother’s side, rooting for him, which was fine—just breathing the same air she’s breathing’s damn enough for me thankyouvermuch. And Cookie Chua, who was as drunk as I was, was there too. We couldn’t take it anymore. We wanted Cookie. She later on jammed during the last set.

Can I just say that I am still hungover shitless and can’t put together coherent paragraphs anymore? Here are the highlights from last night:

One of the boys (either Gian or Chek), went out for a smoke and after 3 seconds dashed inside, seemingly dumbfounded. He then turns to me and whispers, “Putangina dude, si Joey Ayala naka-helmet.” And I’m like dude you’re wasted. So I go out, and there you have it—si Joey Ayala nga, naka-helmet. Apparently, he was already on his way out and uses a good ol’ bike to move around town. We all should’ve known, right?

Cookie Chua was finally on stage, and she just capped off our night so perfectly. She’s just amazing. “Goddess, dude. She’s a goddess.” And Chek was like, “She’s MY goddess damn you. MY goddess!” Cookie Chua happens to be Chek’s longtime crush.

"Dalampasigan ng Puso”, “Dahil Nariyan Ka”, “With or Without You”, “Crash Into Me”, “What a Wonderful World” and “Stay”.

Belgian Woman: “I shall now sing a peace song in different languages—French, Italian, Spanish, yada yada yada” Noel: “And I will sing in Ilocano.”

I started texting nonsense to everyone. I just found out about it this morning when I checked my Sent Folder.

In addition to the previous, I found a text message in my outbox that apparently Chek was supposed to send to this guy I used to date. It says, “NO. I DDINT TXT U. HINDI KITA KAILANGAN!,,,.)-..” It wasn’t in my Sent Folder, so thank god for that.

Gian drove me home, and Chek tagged along. We were already approaching the entry to our neighborhood, when suddenly, Chek goes, “Dude, Scott’s Burger na ito.” Gian shifts and makes a sharp U-Turn, parks and before we knew it, we were tripping on 6 burgers, at the Scott’s Burger stall mind you. Quezon Avenue was such a sight to behold that night.

But my #1 highlight of the night is, drum roll please…

A super drunk Conrado de Quiros jamming Beatles songs with Noel. I’m not kidding.

Yes, last night was, to say the least, the most surreal night I've ever had in Conspiracy. That place is my #2 escape, next to Bora. So here's to more Worry Free Wednesdays! Thank you Team WFW. Thank you everpresent Noel Cabangon! Thank you Joey Ayala, Cynthia Alexander, Cookie Chua, and Conrado de Quiros! Thank you Scott's Burger! Cheers to y'all!

Equilateral Triangles

2007-01-02T01:19:00.000-08:00

Inspired by the same titled journal entry from Wilf.

My life:

family, boyfriend, friends
work, books, writing
coffee, beer, sleep
worryfree wednesdays, music, art
sundried tomatoes, chives, cream cheese
sugar, toothpaste, mouthwash
sun, sand, bikinis
heat, wind, rain
internet, research, knowledge
reminiscing, making up, forgetting
greens, pinks, whites
daisies, daffodils, gerbera
hopes, dreams, wishes
impulse, adventure, spontaneity
poetry, wordplay, creation
curiosity, wonder, cluelessness
waking, breathing, living
knowing, forgiving, allowing
receiving, embracing, releasing

My life.

Bubog

2007-01-01T04:49:00.000-08:00

Cutting through frosted glass
Try as I might
So as never to see the blur again
Shards are all I want

Shards of glass that once I hold
And set atop the palm of my hand
Make me feel nothing but cold
A little damp, but mostly broken

And when I squeeze to close my palm
My fingers start to quiver and bleed
But I squeeze all the more until
Its last red drop

Because that is all I could feel
That is all I need to feel
To know that yes,
I am alive
And that I
Shall remain
Alive

Late Christmas shopping with mi papa

2006-12-30T01:12:00.000-08:00

Today was a blast! Dad brought me and my sister to Shang for some late Christmas shopping exclusively for both of us girls! Here are some of the things I got for myself, thanks to Dad.

I really don't know how to describe clothes the way fashion junkies do, but I bought this really elegant brown halter top, with a peek-a-boo teardrop shaped opening at the back, perfect for a cozy night out. Also bought a Kristin-Cavalleri-esque micro mini denim skirt. I got both pieces from Zara.
Studio Fix compact from MAC. My shade is NC35. I just needed to refill, that's all.
Stainiac Hint of Tint cheek tint from the Balm. I'm kinda frustrated cos I haven't found the perfect cheek shade yet, so I'm still on the lookout for the best one for me.
Copper flipflops lined with sequins of the same color from Rustan's.

Plus, I had my favorite meal in Sumo Sam-- salmon sashimi, Philadelphia rolls and lots and lots of wasabe. I wasn't able to finish my Japanese carbonara, but that was awesome too.

It was really fun hanging out with Dad like that. It's been ages since we last did that as a family. Today was great. Happy Christmas, Daddy!

What do you think of this...

2006-12-28T21:58:00.000-08:00

"Knowing is better than wondering. Waking is better than sleeping. The biggest, most intractable mistake beats the hell out of never trying."

It's an exerpt from an old Grey's Anatomy episode I saw last night. Do you agree with the statement?

Whatever your sentiments are, I hope it brings you into a needed realization.

Happy new year!

Yeehaw!

2006-12-26T18:52:00.000-08:00

For all ye country music junkies out there like yaws tru-lay, I'm invitin' y'all to catch the rerun of the 40th Annual Country Music Association Awards this Saturday, December 30 at 9:00PM on Studio 23.

There's loads to look fo'ward to, y'all! Am particulary tunin' in fo' Carrie Underwood's performance. That talented lil' missy's quite sum-in am tellin' ya. Also got a sneak peek at Rascal Flatts' stint on one of me and mah boy's favorite love songs, "My Wish". And of course, I'm always wonderin' 'bout what Miss Gretchen Wilson's got up her sleeve this tahm 'round, and if Tim McGraw's gonna wow us again with some okely-dokely-doo croonin'. Lord have mercy for Mr. McGraw will forever be mah weakness...

Seriously y'all, unleash that inner boot scootin' cowboy/cowgirl in ya and experience music like never before. I'll be damned if you dun end up a convert after seein' Keith Urban do his thing.

Howdy!

How do we celebrate Christmas?

2006-12-26T04:29:00.000-08:00

I have to admit that Christmas was kind of lonely this year. It just hit me that we were a minority still staying here in the Philippines. I tried not to allow such negativity ruin the holiday spirit, but sometimes you just can't help but play with your food with only 5 people surrounding the once jampacked dinner table during noche buena.

I think it was a Thursday (3 days before Christmas) when I finally went shopping for gifts. Or maybe it was a Friday. I bought crisp Italian polo shirts for Dad and Papa (both with different shades of blue), an ivory M&S sweatshirt for Mama (I fell in love with the rhinestone-studded v-neck), a pair of tan, semi-heeled pumps from Tutto Moda for my sister (we're going back to have it exchanged for a smaller size), and goat's milk lotion for our kikay helpers.

I haven't bought anything for myself yet, I will probably do so after the New Year's, but don't you find it incomparable simply scouting for the neatest things for your loved ones?

Before heading to our usual midnight Mass in Lourdes, my sister and I stopped by Country Chicken to grab noche buena for Mang Danny, our everpresent watch-your-car-boy. When my Mom was still around, she used to give him a real homecooked noche buena, but we thought it better to just leave the cooking to the experts and just resort to a pre-packed meal that's just as satisfying. We bought him one whole country chicken, barbecue, and polvoron.

Our noche buena consisted of the usual -- ham, Mama's famous molo soup, chicken gallantina, bread, fruit salad, Tita Maritel's jello with peaches dessert, and of course, my favorite -- keso de bola. I had way too much keso de bola. I think I had, maybe 1/4 slabs of it in one day.

Opening of gifts followed. It lasted around 10 minutes, whereas before, it took as an hour or even more. We'd fill up 2 garbage bags with giftwrapper. We didn't even need garbage bags anymore.

Although Christmas this year was quieter, a bit lonelier, and just plain could-be-better, this is still my favorite time of year. I couldn't be any more thankful still having my grandparents around, still hale and hearty even in their 70s, excited as if they still believed in Santa Claus. At around 2AM, while tucking myself in bed, I realized that I am still indeed very blessed.

I pray that however you're spending the holidays, whoever you're with, and whatever your situation in life is, you'd still keep that childlike spirit within you, still able to count your blessings, even when they seem few. Because it's not about the number of gifts you receive, or how much you've been blessed with. It's about being blessed, period.

Be blessed, knowing that you are indeed blessed. Merry Christmas!

Welcome to ronchky

2006-12-24T20:47:00.000-08:00

Year 2006 has been by far the hardest year I've ever had in my life. It was, to say the least, a super dooper rollercoaster ride. It was crazy, monotonous, loopy, scary, and most of the time unpredictable. I'd even forget to fasten my seatbelt almost the entire time. I love that it's already December -- simply means that this ride's finally gonna end.

Blogging has been such a huge part of me for the past 4 years, ever since godchaser started. There, I was able to store all my thoughts, experiences, lessons learned, basically everything in my life that I felt like sharing to the entire world, simply because I know that somewhere between those sometimes incoherent yet honest sentences, an important realization that anyone can relate to would slowly unfold. That was godchaser's purpose -- to let people know that nobody's alone in any kind of battle. I know how you feel. I've been there too.

godchaser has been the ultimate sanctuary for me, knowing that it was made so other people could also find sanctuary in it. But now that it's about to end its 4th volume, I think it's time to finally end this literary folio and start a new one, the same time that I in turn am about to begin a more personal chapter in my life this coming year.

And so I bring you ronchky -- I know it sounds like such a weird title for a blog, but to me, it outrightly speaks of what I want this new collection to be. It's a nickname my aunt came up with way, way back, derived from the already existing "Roni". It feels wonderful whenever people lovingly call me "Ronchky", because it always brings me back to the kind of person I want to be, and the kind of life I want to have -- simple, unpretentious, childlike, and spontaneous. How the label "Ronchky" particularly does this, I will never be able to pinpoint. It's weird, I know, but it works especially during the dreariest of days.

ronchky's tagline "And the soul felt its worth" sums up 2006 and at the same time introduces 2007. It was derived from the classic Christmas song "Oh Holy Night", and inspired by Luke 2:1-14. I hope that the newness of it all -- the blog and the stories that are about to come -- will bring everyone joy, realization, and peace of mind the way the past 4 years of godchaser did for me and hopefully to everyone who read some of its contents.

Here's to the new me, and to the new you. :-)